THE ART OF QUIET COMEBACKS: Part 10. The Reckoning

Part 10. The Reckoning

A series about starting over gently, honestly, and without apology

Truth has its weight, and there comes a moment when silence can no longer bear the weight of truth. The previous chapter emphasized the need to sit with your broken pieces, analyze and name them. It also talked about letting the silence speak. Note that silence in this context isn’t a moment of peace, it’s a moment of heaviness and tension. It’s a moment when “The Breaking” brings about a shutdown, a silence, and within this silence springs hidden and suppressed voices; things we have left unspoken and ignored for a long time. Although it’s a moment of silence, it’s not a peaceful silence because the truth it’s exposed to comes with its weight. This is so because the truth is powerful, sometimes it’s painful and too significant to be hidden. This truth eventually demands acknowledgment.

The acknowledgement of the truth breaks the silence. Therefore, before healing can be birthed, the truth must be faced, and silence must be broken. That is “Reckoning” which is not just a moment, but a process.

Reckoning: This is a period of deep self-reflection and accountability; confronting your past, your actions and your pains. This is the period when hidden realities, mistakes of the past, and unresolved pain crawl to the surface. Reckoning is deeper than discovering the truth, it’s about owning the truth, the courageous act of facing the truth. It’s a period when denial comes to an end, silence breaks, and reality demands a response.

Reckoning as a Process

Reckoning doesn’t occur in an instance; it’s more like a sequence. Let’s explore it.

1. Breaking the Silence: This is where reckoning begins. This is the period the truth begins to show its face. The moment truth flows into your remembrance, the moment it’s revealed, spoken aloud or written. This is a moment of breaking the silence, but it doesn’t end there.
2. Acknowledging the Truth: Truth revealed but not acknowledged can never produce healing. Acknowledging the truth is the heart of reckoning. It’s deeper than just hearing the truth, it’s facing it, owning the truth, and allowing it to change you. This is the core part of reckoning. Reckoning goes deeper when the truth is not just spoken but received. Embracing the truth is acknowledging the truth. However, it doesn’t end there.
3. Responding to the Truth: Reckoning helps you respond to the truth. This response is the product of reckoning. It might involve you taking responsibility, accountability, it might involve you apologizing. This is a period of repair and transformation.

The above is the sequence of reckoning. Therefore, breaking the silence is the threshold, acknowledging the truth is the core, and responding to the truth is the product of reckoning.

Sometimes, the moment of breaking challenges a person’s identity. You begin to toss questions at everything you thought you knew, the roles you played, even the beliefs you held so dear. You behold yourself questioning the dreams you chased. In this situation, you sometimes realize some of the things that broke in you actually needed to break. You realize some things you held onto were never meant to last. You begin to comprehend the fact that some pressures, expectations, social face and identity were heavy in your hands because they were never meant to be yours. You begin to realize you dipped your hands into more than your mouth could support, more than your teeth could chew. This realization is also reckoning; the point at which you begin to commune with your broken pieces and sift through the debris.

Reckoning is not only about acknowledging pain or mistakes, but also about sitting with them, listening to them, and allowing them to speak. Reckoning helps you connect with the part of you that has been shattered, silenced or buried. Reckoning is facing your wounds without the rush to fix them. Reckoning is holding a space for regret, shame or grief without being judgmental. Reckoning is allowing your brokenness to teach you, not define you.

Reckoning is necessary because when you commune with your shattered pieces, you imbibe a new and correct perspective. You stop treating your broken pieces as your enemies, you start to comprehend their origin, the message they are trying to pass across. You begin to understand their needs. When this is done, then you’re on the journey of birthing your healing. You’re not trying to patch your broken pieces, instead, you’re learning from them and using the lesson learnt to journey into transformation.

Note that reckoning is a sacred conversation between your soul and its fractures. When a person is broken, reckoning is very painful. It can be very messy because you must face your shattered pieces, commune and sift through them. As painful as it is, it’s a necessity because it opens your eyes to your journey to freedom. This is so because you’re not constructing your life around survival, rather, your construction is centered and surrounded by truth.

Remember, JS Havilah cares about you, yes, you!

Part 11 of THE ART OF QUIET COMEBACKS is quietly on its way.

Come back for every installment.
Come back to remember you are not alone.
Come back, not to catch up, but to catch your breath.

Still becoming,

JS Havilah