THE ART OF QUIET COMEBACKS: Part 17. The Practice of Recalibrating Your Emotions

Part 17. The Practice of Recalibrating Your Emotions

A series about starting over gently, honestly, and without apology

There comes a moment within every quiet comeback when the noise in the heart must be tuned. This doesn’t mean that noise must be totally silenced because it doesn’t always work that way. What tuning here means is the fact that you must be able to discipline your emotion such that it doesn’t dictate nor control you. Like a musician who adjusts the strings of a harp, we must reach inward and gently realign whatever has been frayed, overstretched or stifled by the discord or friction of life.

To recalibrate your emotions is all about stewardship, it’s not about bottling up emotions nor suppressing them. It’s a sacred act of acknowledging your feelings without allowing them to dictate your future. Anger is real, disappointment and grief are real, but they must never be the compass guiding your life. They must never rule you.

Even the bible in Ephesians 4:26 said, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.”  It wasn’t talking about numbness, rather, it is a call to emotional discipleship. We must learn the art of bringing our hearts under the rhythm of grace. We must cultivate the habit of making peace with our empire. You must learn to let joy be your strength, not your mask.

Recalibrating your emotion is not a pretense that everything is fine, it’s a choice to camp with faith and feel it. It’s a choice to weep with hope but rise with clarity. Dear reader, I want you to know that you cannot move forward when your emotions are centered on the storm of yesterday. You may have survived the wreck, but if bitterness still pilots your compass, you’ll only end up drifting in circles. Instead of arriving, you’ll keep reacting, drifting in circles.

Recalibrating your emotion is not denial; it’s that sacred moment when you pause and ask yourself this simple question:

“Is this emotion serving me, or sabotaging me?”

Dear reader, even the bible gave us examples. Job was downcast, David raged, even Jesus wept, but none of them remained there. In its raw, unedited and unfiltered state, they surrendered those emotions to God. Amid the challenge they were going through, they allowed God to tune their hearts back to purpose.

The art of quiet comeback is not the roar of revenge; it is a whisper of realignment. In fact, it is not a drama echoing a grand return, it is simply the discipline of emotional clarity. Being able to realign with purpose. Please note that you don’t have to feel strong to be steady, all you need to do is stop letting your feelings drive the wheel.

What Recalibration Looks Like:

1. Being able to name the emotion without feeling ashamed.

If you feel angry, unseen or abandoned, be able to name it and say it without shame.

2. Being able to sincerely ask yourself what that emotion is protecting.

Is it protecting you from pride, grief, hatred, revenge etc., or it’s protecting you from finding help?

3. Being able to invite God into your feelings.

God is always willing to meet you at whatever level you are. Don’t run away or shy away from Him. Don’t deceive yourself by thinking or saying you’ll go to God when you become a better person. The best time to meet with God is at your lowest. Allow Him and watch Him transform your life. He will pull you up from whatever level or state you are currently to the level you wouldn’t have been able to get to by human effort. You must accept the fact that you can’t help yourself, and no one can help you the way God will.

4. Being able to choose a response that honors healing.

Choose not to lash out.

Choose not to give up.

Choose not to shut down.

Choose to pray.

Choose to wait.

Choose to breathe.

Dear reader, don’t mistake numbness for healing, silence does not mean peace. You can be quiet, but your emotions are misaligned, resonating with resentment, anger, revenge, fatigue or fear. Don’t react from the place of your wounds, rather, your response should be from the place of wisdom. Bring your mind, your heart, your emotions back to God who created them and let Him re-tune them. It’s in this sacred stillness that you’ll hear a new note of victory. It may not be loud, but it’ll be true. It may not look triumphant, but it will be whole.

A Prayer for Recalibration

Lord, tune my emotion to the sound of Your voice.

In areas I have been led by fear, let me anchor in faith.

Wherever anger has been my armor, please clothe me in compassion.

Wherever sorrow has silenced me, please teach me to sing again.

I surrender my emotions to you, help align them to Your grace.

Make my heart beat in the rhythm of Your grace.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Thank you for reading this chapter, and for saying that prayer of recalibration. Remember, JS Havilah cares about you, yes, you!

Part 18 of THE ART OF QUIET COMEBACKS is quietly on its way.

Come back for every installment.
Come back to remember you are not alone.
Come back, not to catch up, but to catch your breath.

Still becoming,

JS Havilah