Part 4. The Right Environment

A series about starting over gently, honestly, and without apology

Part 3 of this series ignited with the powerful line: “I don’t remember the weather that day. I only remember the weight.” That was a period of weariness. Sometimes ago, the weight seemed overwhelming, it felt as though my strength was fading. For a period, I felt as though my resilience was in combat with claws of weariness. It felt like my strength was injured, suffering internal bleeding.

Despite the dramatic battle ragging within my soul, I dressed up and found my way to church. It was a beautiful Sunday, however, only my eyes beheld the beauty, and that was because my soul was saturated by the ugly sight of internal bleeding it suffered. I could dish out smiles to people, but to me, those smiles seemed to be spills of blood.

Just before service commenced, somehow, I met someone I respect so much, we exchanged a handshake, and that was the turning point. With one hand he shook me, and with the other hand he patted the hand I shook him with. This happened in less than 3 seconds and I’m pretty sure he had no idea of what transpired within that moment as he was off to greet other people.

Throughout that day, the picture of that moment kept flashing before me. I couldn’t explain it, but that patting of my hand was beyond being therapeutic. It meant something different to me, I know he had no idea of what was going on with me before we shook hands, but his action struck me in a way far beyond being therapeutic. It felt as though God used him to signal to me that He (God) sees me and wants me to be encouraged, He wanted me to cheer up from within my soul as that is where the real victory should be won. It felt as though God spoke to me via that patting of my hand. Gradually, I strolled out of that weary state, my strength got strengthened and I won the battle raging within my soul.

Sharing this story of mine is to let you know that when you’re weary, there’s a right environment to be, and of course, there’s also a wrong environment. Weariness thrives in the wrong environment, but when you position yourself in the right environment, weariness can’t stand it, it’ll get flushed out of your soul because there’s nothing in that environment that supports its thriving.

Be around people who can encourage you, people who God can use to speak to you even without them noticing. Don’t forsake the gathering of brethren, the church is meant to be a spiritual clinic, something in it will reach out to you. It may not be the sermon, and it may be, but something within that gathering will reach out to you because God sees you, He’s the manufacturer, the builder of that community, that clinic. Hang out with friends who can uplift you, friends whose words and actions can drag you out of the weariness beclouding your soul. See movies that have the capacity to uplift your soul, same with music and conversations. These are the right environments.

When you’re weary, staying away from the gathering of brethren can be likened to a sick person staying away from the clinic, and that is very dangerous. Staying around people whose words will further drown you deeper into weariness is dangerous. If staying alone makes your weariness thrive or does not help it go away, then run away from being alone, but choose the right environment. Avoid conversations, movies and music that will drown you deeper or help sustain your weariness. All these are the wrong environments to be when you’re weary.

In conclusion, weariness visits every soul, whether man or woman, boy or girl. No matter how strong and brave they are, life happens to everyone. When life happens to you, please choose your environment wisely. Your response to life, your actions and inactions can largely be a product of the environment you are in at your moment of weariness. Please note that weariness is not weakness, weariness does not mean lack of strength to push forward. No! The presence of an overwhelming weight does not mean you lack strength. Your strength is in you and only needs something to spark it, something to crystalize it from the cloudy weight that seems to submerge it. The fact that it feels as though you’re losing strength does not mean you’re losing strength, your strength is just being overwhelmed.

Be careful of the environment you choose to be when weariness comes knocking at your door.

Be careful of the environment you choose to be when weariness has already seeped into your soul, quiet and undeniable.

Be mindful of the environment you prefer when weariness has already poured into your soul, filling every corner.

JS Havilah cares about you, yes, you!

Part 5 of THE ART OF QUIET COMEBACKS is quietly on its way.

Come back for every installment.
Come back to remember you’re not alone.
Come back, not to catch up, but to catch your breath.

Still becoming,

JS Havilah